'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again... oh babe, I hate to go.

Alas, my time in London is very quickly nearing its end and every morning offers me a daily reality check. Bright and early. Some people dread evenings because that's when they reflect on things, but the morning is the killer for me. I can't help but have mixed feelings about moving back to Ottawa, maybe in part because it feels like I've moved on and it now feels like I'm taking a step back. Perhaps it's just because it's change, and lots of people will agree that change is hard (yes, that is coming from me!)

What can I say, these past 2 ish years couldn't have been better timing in terms of relationships, work experience, and just in terms of being in London!!

London has been AWESOME! I've witnessed the marriage of Prince William to Kate, I've celebrated the Queen's Diamond Jubilee as well as the Trooping of the Color two years in a row, was around for the scary London riots, got to be here for the 2012 Olympics, and I've celebrated the biggest Canada Day outside of Canada! I've made some great friends, have done some incredibly stupid things (good stupid) and I've extended my list of places I've traveled to. I've probably done a great deal of damage to my liver but it's all part of the cultural experience. Right?

It's safe to assume that most people who live in London for any length of time will go through certain phases in their acceptance of the city and its people. The cycle goes something like this: first you feel a certain amount of excitement mixed with fear, and this quickly leads to more excitement and more fear (this phase is dealt with through alcohol). Soon enough you start to feel a bit lonely in such a big city, and after a considerable amount of time (for me it was about 5 months) you start to feel frustration. This frustration then moves on to downright anger (this is when you might make some friends because complaining is the most common pastime here, aside from tea and drinking alcohol).

Then there's a breakthrough in the cycle and one becomes more and more understanding of this city. AT this point you've become a professional complainer, but things are no longer taken as seriously. You start to feel like a Londoner, have a huge hate on for tourists, but secretly really enjoy all the things that make this city. You travel the city with an umbrella in your purse at all times and with the general understanding that the trains will be packed and not always on time. But, you still keep calm and carry on. People start asking you for directions and that's when you know the city has done something to you. The coolest part is being able to give people the right directions (even though they look distrustfully at you once hearing your strange pseudo accent).

When you call home, your friends make fun of you for sounding British, and when you hang up, your British friends take the piss out of you for sounding American. You get very used to everything being put into the context of where you come from and how things differ. "Do you eat maple syrup on everything in Canada?" The answer must always be yes. We can't have them catching on to how we truly live.

And now it's time to say my farewells to this city and it chokes me up. It's been such an intense time that it's hard to fathom leaving such a fun, exciting place. Especially now that I've met such amazing people. But I suppose I've learned that good things must sometimes come to an end, and change isn't a BAD thing. I'll be back again someday, just don't know when.

Right. Time to pack 2 years of my life into 2 suitcases. No problem!

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold, all that you need is in your soul.

I've just come in from a run in the rain and had my ipod on shuffle, and one of the songs that came on was "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. While it's not my typical running playlist type, the song really struck me. I've been doing a lot of reflection in the past week (my work contract came to an end, so I'm unemployed for the moment) so this means I have nothing but time on my hands.

Part of my reflections has been to look into my past, and much to my thankfulness and amusement, one of my best friends since the age of 4 now lives in London so we've been swapping stories. We can remember growing up and hating school to no end- constantly sitting in the principals office and challenging all the rules that we felt were (and indeed were) ridiculous. One of my biggest memories as a young girl was that I ALWAYS talked about travelling and seeing the world, and being "my own woman" which is something my dad proudly taught me to say. When I would be dragging my feet down the hallways of school, I would remind myself that someday I would be free to do whatever I want. This rightfully scared the shit out of my parents.

As of today, I have been all over the world, I've experienced love and loss, and I've worked hard and played even harder. And after being all over the world and doing some amazing things, I am reminded of something: I will always be Lauren. The location doesn't make me a different person, it might enrich my life and provide me with insight but I am ultimately the same Lauren at the end of the day. Some people travel to places like India to find themselves (hey, I've done it too) and while travelling to places like India is an experience that everyone should go through- it doesn't make you find yourself, all that happens if that you solidify your understanding of who you already are.

Is this a bit deep?

This has all been more of a fleeting thought, I should really share them more often- let all my nonsense out of captivity!

Something else that I've really come to terms with in the past 6 years of my life is that we are all ultimately the same all around the world. Aside from our basic human needs like sustenance and shelter, we all want to experience love, we all want to be able to support ourselves, and we all want to feel worthy to be in this world. Many of us want to be part of something that is bigger than ourselves, and some want to leave behind some kind of legacy. No matter where I am in the world, everyone I meet shares some of these fundamental needs and desires and the interesting part is how people go about achieving them.

Right, I've gone in a bit deep again it seems. I was beginning to think that Prison Break was rotting my brain.

Since my last post I've completed my assignment at my job, I've been on a trip to Cyprus, I somehow got tickets to the Royal Enclosure at the Royal Ascot, and I've gotten back onto a health kick.

I can imagine I will be posting more fleeting thoughts and ideas in between rotting my brain during endless episodes of Prison Break (I can't stop watching Wentworth Miller, sorry Vince).

More to come soon.
xx

Diamond Jubilee madness

Wow- what an amazing time to be in London! British flags hanging from every house, street parties, the Flotilla on the Thames, the Queen parading through London... and a very sweet 4 day weekend to pack it all in!

I've had a fantastic month of May, really enjoying my job (turns out it's been solely working for the travel department which has been fun) but honestly, it's the people that have made it incredible. I've made some invaluable friendships and have done so much laughing that I'm starting to get a 6 pack (well not quite). 

It's hard not to feel excited right now, even if you're not a firm supporter of the Monarchy. The energy in London is insane- with all the madness of the Queen's diamond jubilee, her birthday, and with the Olympics coming up... this is the place to be. 

With that being said, I can tell you that a lot of Londoners aren't quite as excited as I am, particularly in terms of the masses of people clogging up our streets and the ridiculous delays on our tubes and trains. I feel like I'm slightly removed from it because I don't care if I'm slightly uncomfortable for a couple of months- but for lots of people, these few months are a HUGE inconvenience. 

It's quite funny really, I think secretly everybody is very proud and enjoying the hype over here, but not everyone will admit to that. It's much easier just to complain and have this collective understanding that it's entirely inconvenient to have so many foreigners coming over and stepping on our toes. 

Haha. Anyway. 

Here's a laugh for my readers: I've had my first experience of waking up on the coast of England and not having a clue how I got there... something I've learned, particularly in the last month, is how satisfying it is to work bloody hard and play really bloody hard. The English do it best. My amazingly wonderful boyfriend had to figure out where I had gotten myself, and if it weren't for the automated train thing that says "beep- the next station is..." I wouldn't have been able to figure out where I was. Turns out, I couldn't have gone any further anyway, because it was literally the last stop before the Ocean. Let's just say I owe him my first born child for driving a total of nearly 2 hours to get my drunk ass home. 

We've been so blessed this month with amazing weather (amazing= normal Ottawa summer weather) but unfortunately it looks like it might rain on the Queen's parade. Wow, I'm talking about weather. 

Time to meet up with a fellow Canadian and battle our congested streets of London. Thing is, we secretly love it...

xx

"Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'"

Alas, another month has gone by and I've disappointed myself in my lack of writing. Someone needs to help motivate me with this, because I know I'm going to enjoy looking back on this someday!

It's been an action packed month- with trips up north (in England) to Norfolk and the Lake District, going through many interviews with agencies, visiting with old friends, and scoring a sweet job in the city! I've really lucked out, I am currently working with a big insurance company (ever heard of Lloyds?) and my role is a PA/travel assistant. I essentially manage the lives and travel itineraries for a bunch of people in this company, and it's actually pretty enjoyable. The people I work with are lovely- and to be honest, it's a bit of a step up from the banking world. If any of you UBS folks are reading this... I only mean that it's nice to be around women for a change. And people whose social skills are, perhaps, a bit more developed...

I just had a funny moment which I shall classify as a "London moment". It's been a very busy day, and I really wanted a beer after work. So when I got off the train, I stopped by the store to pick up a beer for my walk home... and I only just remembered how I could only get away with this in Europe. If I did this in Canada, not only would I be stopped by some dickhead police officer who would pour out my beer and give me a lecture on proper public behavior, but everyone would look at me with disgust and disapproving eyes.

This is something I've been reflecting on recently- this relaxed approach (to pretty much everything) in Europe. It's something that I can really appreciate and relate to. I'm not just referring to laws and social norms surrounding things like drinking, but I'm talking about a general approach to life which is much less stuffy and suppressed. I understand the difficulty in comparing countries with completely different demographics, but I suppose that living in Europe has allowed me to open my eyes a bit more and therefore both appreciate and resent things about North America. Let me take a moment to give a brief shout out to my European friends who do things like actually VOTE and stand up for things they believe in, and don't sit back and be boring, apathetic people who just go through the motions of life. Again, I understand how this is a bit of a sweeping statement, but if you are a North American reading this right now and share some level of resentment towards the people and government of Canada: I want you to know that you are not alone. Do yourself a favor and get out of your comfort zone (maybe do some travelling?)- this has provided me some of the best, most educational experiences of my life.

Right, I have to be honest that I'm falling asleep. More to come very very soon. x

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life

Wow... it's already happened. The reason I've been absent is because I have completely entered the time warp that is London. It's like walking into my favorite pub at 12 noon and the next thing I realize is that the pub is shutting down and I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. It's like that.

Everyday I try to think about how to capture what I'm seeing and feeling and putting it into words, and it's beyond hard. I want to say it just right. My dad reminded me about this quote (which also happens to be written on the wall of my favorite pub) and it says "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." -Samuel Johnson

I am so hyper-aware of everything that's happening around me, in a way that I didn't experience the last year I was here. I feel like I've opened up my periphery vision and am seeing new things that were always there, but I wasn't ready to see them at the time. Let me tell you, this has proven to be good, bad, and really really funny.

Before I talk about potentially offensive things (even my Grandmother reads this!!) I want to share the story about how I met Patricia, this lovely 70 year old woman from London who has completely inspired me beyond belief. The other day I was sitting next to the Tower of London, reading The Times and drinking a coffee, and soaking up the sun in my sundress. It has been beautiful lately, about 20 degrees and sunny everyday. So, this gorgeous lady comes over and asks if she can sit in the chair next to me so she can soak up the sun too. Before she can put her coffee on the table, we start talking. About everything.

To make a fairly long story short, she is the epitome of how I want to age and to be a beautiful, strong woman like herself (very much like my mom and grandmother too). She told me her "secrets" to achieving a happy life and they included things like staying fit, eating right, and creative visualization of things that you want to accomplish. She is a firm believer that the energy you put into the world is the energy that will be returned to you, and she hinted about believing in God. I soaked up her words and wisdom and was beaming by the time I met up with my boyfriend (who I kept waiting for this lovely lady). When we parted, she said some really inspiring and tear jerking words, that I can't even share them on this blog.

I think in the past I've been too quick to say that Londoners are generally snobbish and uptight... and that's a theory that I'm slowly breaking down right now. Everyday I have a meaningful conversation with a stranger- a phenomenon that I thought only existed in Canada.

And then there's the Irish. This is another fairly long story that I'll abridge. So I went to Wellington Barracks (steps from Buckingham Palace) to watch Vince perform and be part of the year's biggest inspection of the guards. I'm sorry honey, but being a guard myself, I got bored. So I went to a pub thinking I would have a quick drink and meet up with Vince once he finished being inspected by the guy with the funny hat. The next thing I know, I'm sitting at a table with 7 drunk, grown up Irish men and laughing so hard I was nearly peeing myself. They are 100% a different breed of person. Perhaps some of the funniest people I've ever met in my life, very closely followed by the English. I was suspicious that they were some kind of policemen or security intelligence members because aside from the muscles, I tried taking a picture to remember these blokes, and they were having none of it.

Anyway, I need to be careful as it turns out, because when I got up to leave, one of the guys told me to tell my "Army boyfriend" that I had been drinking with some former RUC members. I figured it had something to do with some kind of political group of Northern Ireland, and google confirmed that I was mostly right. They were a form of police service that fought in Northern Ireland during a time of lawlessness and violence, and it was formed in 1922 until 2001. You can google the rest.

Alright, I've just realized that I have enough stories to write a book so I'll share one more that made me laugh really hard. The other night I met up with two lovely ladies that I haven't seen in 6 months, and we met in the city (near Liverpool street station) for some dinner. Towards the end of dinner, one of the ladies turns to us and says "right, are we up for a wee bit of karaoke tonight?". Normally these words made me run away crying because there's few things in life that I hate more than karaoke, but I'm trying to be "yes woman" lately. So off we go, walking down the small alleys of the city towards the karaoke bar.

Here is the hilarious part... the karaoke bar is an Asian restaurant, where you walk in and there's a small, beat up couch in the corner, a screen overhead, and a family of Asians that speak minimal english and charge way too much for a gin and tonic. We 3 ladies arrived and were obviously the first people there aside from the 1 very large fish swimming in the fish tank. It was just so odd that for the first 10 minutes, we sat on that beaten up couch and laughed our butts off, and the hilarity level got even higher when this tiny Asian man started singing for us. "How are you ladies tonight? You feeling sexy?" Oh my god it was so funny.

Only minutes later did the place completely fill up with drunk city boys (another breed of person) looking to scream into the microphone and perform various embarrassing acts with each other... so we left. At least we left having had some really good laughs.

I realize that I'm not doing a very good job at "describing London" so I will work on that. I'm still trying to get the words right, but I figured these stories were worth sharing in the meantime.

Time to sit in the sun and read the newspaper!! xx

I'm baaaaack.

Alas, my first blog entry from London! 

I reckon I'm still in the honeymoon/sleep deprived phase of my arrival, because I'm still smiling and saying hello to strangers and apologizing to everyone I bump into on the trains! 

Rewind back a few days- my flight was hilarious. Some of you may know that I have a slight aversion to flying (weird right? I only do it all the time) so my new approach generally involves a preemptive trip to the bar before getting on the plane. This time the bar definitely came with me onto the plane and stayed with me until my arrival the next morning... didn't get a wink of sleep and managed to stumble off the plane with some newly made friends. My poor friends that came to pick me up... it's bad enough that I'm a silly Canadian- add some sleep deprivation and lots of gin and I can imagine they were happy to see me off at home! (I'll make up for it with my presents- that's right Lindsay, you know what I mean!)

Sidenote: I'm sitting on the couch drinking tea and watching "Top Gear" in the background. Just feels right on a Saturday morning.

You know, it's really nice this time around because I don't feel like a tourist anymore. It's funny, the moment I stepped off the train yesterday, the speed of my walking tripled and I started dodging the tourists who stop in the middle of everywhere and stare blankly at signs and tube stations. It felt good to know where I was going and not to hesitate even for a moment. The first time I felt like I resembled a proper Londoner was the day someone asked me for directions and I actually knew the answer! 

Perhaps this fading tourist sentiment will help me make better choices this time around regarding my diet and beverage consumption. The last time always felt like I was on vacation, therefore constantly allowing me to live in this moment of exception. "Another pint? Why not! I'm on vacation!" Keep in mind that I worked quite hard for several months for a global bank in London's financial district, yet I still managed to justify everything with this vacation mindset. 

Speaking of work, I have an interview on Monday with an agency right in the city (near the Tower of London!) and I'm praying for a good outcome. All positive thoughts and prayers are definitely welcomed :) I haven't managed to score a job with the Olympics as originally desired, so I'm hoping to find something worthwhile that will help me to afford living in this expensive city. And to help me afford showing friends a good time when they come visit me (wink wink). 

In other news, I have an embarrassing confession. In all the time I've been here... I have never gone to the museums or art galleries. I know- it's bad. It's not even like there's a good excuse, because they are all completely accessible and totally free! So, I have decided to make the effort to visit as many as possible and got a great start yesterday at the National Gallery at Trafalgar Square. It was incredible... and I'm not just saying that to pretend like I'm worldly and cultured (kind of like some people do on a first date). I saw Monet, Van Gogh, Turner, and other amazing works. Brilliant. 

This cultural experience was followed by another when I was invited onto a ship on the Thames to enjoy a drink! After only one, I stumbled back to the bar and couldn't believe I was such a mess... until I realized it was, in fact, the boat that was swaying. Phew!

Right, it's time to make a dent in my unpacking... More updates to come later :)

Today is the day.

Today is the day I head over the pond! You would think I would feel more prepared, especially with this dragged out transition in my life. I’m still not fully packed, and instead I’m writing in this blog.

A couple weeks ago I was reminiscing about my last year of living in London, and I wrote something that I never ended up posting for some reason... in any case, here it is:

“I can remember thinking to myself within my first week in London, 'why does everyone keep asking me if I'm alright?' It almost gave me a complex. Do these people know something about me? Are they worried I'm not handling London very well?

 As it turns out, that's just what they say to everyone. Canadians say things like "How's it going?" or "How are you?" but Londoners say "You alright?"

Over time I eventually started saying it myself and coming up with appropriate responses, all of them beginning with "Ya good thanks!"

 By the way, this is why if you ever ask a British person how they're doing; they almost ALWAYS begin the response with "Ya". Ever noticed that?

 I can't even begin to describe the countless conversations I had with Londoners from various ends of the city, mostly because I had no idea what they were saying at first. I can still hardly understand my boyfriend's brothers. Once I got used to it and started interpreting some accents as if they were a different language (they really are), my mom came for a visit and very amusingly reminded us about how conversations can get lost in translation. Poor mum sat next to a friend one evening and more or less had to nod and smile after awhile. There are only so many times you can ask someone to repeat themselves.”

---

Something I've noticed about traveling and I suppose it's the same with most things in life, is that I really cherish a place right before a transition. For example, yesterday I went for a walk outside (here in Ottawa) and it was beautiful and sunny, the birds were singing, people walking by would smile and say hello... and it felt good. It felt more than good- it felt almost euphoric. Canada will always be my home.

Once I get to London though, everything is going to feel incredibly exciting and overwhelming in a "this is the best city in the world" kind of way. The trick that I want to figure out is how to maintain these feelings about any place I happen to be in the world. Not just that, I want to capture this feeling about everything in life because it's true what "they" say: everyday really is a gift.

I've recently had some reality checks that were a blessing, because I started to get myself down about really trivial stuff. They were "first world problems" as it turns out. Things like minor back problems, confusion with work related stuff, misplacing important documents... oh my god I'm so privileged, WAKE UP LAUREN!

So there you go- it's time to finish packing and today I will appreciate every moment of this huge transition. While things aren't necessarily easy in life, it definitely doesn't mean it's not going to be worth it!

xx